The Way to a Man's Heart is Through His Stomach

I think our seemingly never-ending quest to find a church may finally be at an end.

It's hard to find a new church, well, not a new church, just a church. Joshua and I have visited every Methodist church in Apex, Cary, Holly Springs and southern Durham and started on the non-denominational churches before we found Cornerstone Presbyterian.

We visited Cornerstone several times last summer, continued church-hopping for a while and finally ended back at Cornerstone this summer. I like to tell people that we chose it because of the snacks...after the 10:30 church service, they have snacks and lemonade and everyone stands around and socializes a while before leaving. Everytime we would drive past the church, Joshua would point at it and say he wanted to go back to the church with the snacks. He also says he likes it because his class is short instead of long...At Cornerstone, 4 year olds participate in the Children's Church where they stay in the sanctuary through the offering, have a small Children's moment and then go back to their classroom missing only the sermon...the other churches we visited, the Children's Church did not start until K or 1st grade so Joshua's class was too long and he was away from me too long and he missed me too much to like going there. Maybe one day soon I will get to hear an entire sermon. For now, I have to walk back to the class with Joshua, get him settled in, wait until he is ok for me to leave, and I usually just catch the very end. But at least he says he really likes going there and I'm sure he will be more comfortable eventually.

Sunday afternoon, we attened an end of summer picnic hosted by the church. It was so much fun. Joshua played on the playground for a while and we both participated in the games they had. Can you believe that it was the first time I have ever been to some sort of sponsored picnic and actually participated in any sort of game! Oh boy, has motherhood changed me! Anyway, the church furnished the hotdogs and hamburgers and everyone else signed up for sides. I brought baked beans. Growing up, a friend of my mom's, Joyce B., always brought the best baked beans to picnics. So, I took, as we fondly call them, Joyce's Beans. And were they ever a big hit! I was the talk of the picnic for a while with everyone asking "who brought the beans?" (lets give a big shout-out to Joyce!) After we ate, Joshua played on the playground a little longer and I was able to sit and talk to people...WOW huh! Then, some kids were playing soccer and Joshua joined in. He still doesn't know the rules or the how to play, he just chased the ball and kicked it whenever he got the chance and no one seemed to mind. He had a lot of fun and cried when it was over and time to leave.

I'll Come Visit You

I just wanted to share with you the conversation Joshua and I had in the car today...

When I get big as daddy, will you still be my mommy?
Yes, I will always be your mommy.
Will I still live with you?
Probably not. You will live with your wife and kids.
Will you come visit me?
I sure will. Will you come visit me?
If my wife and kids want to I will. Even if they don't want to, I will still come visit. But if my wife is sick, she won't visit, but me and my kids will. But if my kids are sick I can't come. I'll have to stay home. Okay?
I'll tell you what, if your wife or kids are sick, I'll come visit you and help you take care of them. Okay?
Okay!

It's not if you win or lose...

It's if you get a trophy...

Today was Joshua's first soccer game, at 9am. When we first arrived, he was unsure of what to do. A couple of the kids were kicking balls into the goal but Joshua just stood there. I think because at practice, he has his own ball...on the field before the game, his ball wasn't there and he didn't think he should kick someone elses ball. We finally convinced him to kick the ball like the other kids, he did, then he ran into someone and fell down, then he ran to me and cried, then the game started...

Joshua didn't want to play, he didn't want to stand in the middle and wait with his other teammates, he wanted to stay with me. Luckily, there was another kid on Joshua's team who was also holding on to mom's leg. She finally took him by the hand and walked him to the middle, I followed her lead, Joshua followed reluctantly. I could hear the mom giving the pep talk trying to convince her son to play. I took the commentary approach "Look, the blue team has the ball, they are running down the field. Go Purple! Get the ball! Uh oh, look, he fell down. Is he out? No! He gets right back up and keeps going!" Once Joshua saw someone else fall down, I think he felt a little bit better. Then he asks me "Will I get a trophy?" I told him "Not if you don't play." Then, he jumps up and down "I want to play! I want to play!" and we wait for his turn.

It was interesting the way they play kids at this age. They used a much smaller field and played 3 on 3 on two different fields. They don't play any positions or anything, it's pretty much kick the ball into the goal and if someone on the other team is kicking the ball, try to kick it away from them. Once he got on the field, he did as good as most of the kids out there. There were several kids that had evidently played before, but they were all on the other team. And at one point, Coach Cindy was on the field holding one of the kid's hand and running with him...I guess he was a little apprehensive playing and that's the only way they could get him out there...I thought it was terrific that she did that...Anyway, Joshua was reluctant to take the ball away from someone but if they kicked it far enough out, he would run after it and start kicking. And he didn't quiet get the whole out of bounds thing because once, he missed the goal but he kept kicking the ball all the way around behind the goal, came out on the other side and kept right on playing. But hey, he was out there, we were proud of him and cheering him the entire time. And, he actually scored a goal!

I think if they actually kept score, it would have been something like 526 to maybe 3, but hey, all the kids had fun and that's the important thing.

Game Called on Account of....Plane?

q: What happens when a group of ten 4 and 5 year olds practice soccer in a flight path?


a: A low flying plane goes overhead and six of the ten kids stop, look up and point at the plane!


I sure hope there are no planes landing Saturday between 9 and 10...That's game time!

Who is Ashleigh Ansley?

I am....in my dream last night...
This is not really blog worthy, but I felt the need to put it somewhere. If anyone is a future screenwriter or author, please give me credit and send me royalties.

Ashleigh Ansley is evidently famous but I'm not sure how...I just know that people know who she is. She does have a male significant other, but I don't know if it is a boyfriend or husband. She also has a family consisting of mom, dad and sister. Ashleigh also has big boobs that just about bust out of the tight white dress she is wearing.

As our story begins, Ashleigh is at a shopping mall wasting time until she is to meet her family for dinner. While browsing around a store, one of the store employees recognizes her and they begin to have a normal, casual conversation. (The employee looks remarklably like an old roommate I had named Amy who wore my clothes, wore my jewelry and used my credit cards all without my permission. Although I do not know her name, I'm going to refer to her as Amy). During the course of this conversation, Amy asks Ashleigh if she would like to go "make out" while waiting. Ashleigh, considers it because it is something she has never done and she was curious, but she turned Amy down. After all, Ashleigh is in a serious relationship and is not attracted to girls in that way. Ashleigh then decides she has talked to Amy long enough so she decides to move on. Amy, however, has not talked to Ashleigh long enough and starts following her...and yelling at her....and threatening her...Amy becomes a stalker.

Ashleigh evades Amy long enough to exit the store and enter the mall. She runs into a security officer who recognizes her, and asks if she needs anything. Ashleigh tells the security officer that she is running late for her dinner reservation. The security officer hails something that looks like those cars in the airport that beeps and moves people around but it is larger and carries a lot of people so I'm going to call it a bus. Ashleigh enters the bus, tells the driver where she needs to go and tells the driver to hurry...out the window, she sees Amy looking angry and running toward her. The driver, sensing Ashleighs needs, hads her a phone and tells her that the man on the other end of the phone can help her.

The voice on the phone is deep and mysterious. He knows who Ashleigh is and knows exactly what she needs without her ever having to say it. Ashleigh arrives at the restaurant and is being lead to the table where her family is waiting for her. She is still talking to the man on the phone, but suddenly, she hears a noise, no longer hears his voice and then the phone goes dead. Ashleigh starts to get really scared because she knows that Amy has done something to the man who was her only hope. Then, before she reaches her table, she sees Amy........Amy has on a police windbreaker jacket and is followed by other police officers. She arrests Ashleigh for trying to hire a hitman. Ashleigh tries to explain that if Amy hadn't of stalked her in the first place, she wouldn't have needed to hire a hitman but Amy pretended she did not know what Ashleigh was talking about.

Although it wasn't explained to her, somehow Ashleigh knows that the hitman had "hit" someone that Amy cared for. Amy knew that if she stalked Ashleigh that Ashleigh would hire the hitman, Amy could track him down and get her revenge on him and have Ashleigh arrested. Pretty smart of Amy if you ask me.

Anyway, for what it's worth, that was my dream last night. Keep watching Lifetime Movies, you may see it!

What Lessons Do I Want to Teach?

This morning, I was backing up the driveway as usual, I got to the end and Joshua asked
"Did you win?"
It took me a moment to remember that we race in the mornings, he has to buckle up before I back up, but then I said
"Yes! I did win! Finally!"
And then, with the sound of disappointment I heard
"But I wanted to win. That isn't fair!"
I started saying
"You can't always win. If you win all the time, someone else has to lose all the time and how fair is that?"

And then I hesitated and thought about that....Is this the message that I want to teach Joshua? That to be fair, he has to not do his best? Do I want him to lose on purpose just so someone else can win so that the other person can feel good? Do I want him to be dumbed down in school, taught the easy things so that the other person can feel smarter? Do I want him to not be successful in life? To always take the easy road? No, that's not what I want him to learn.

Sure, life isn't fair and you can't always win. You shouldn't expect others to not do their best and let you win. If you didn't win this time, perhaps you'll try harder next time. If you didn't make that good grade, perhaps you'll study more next time. If you didn't get that raise, perhaps you'll increase your productivity. That's the lesson I want him to learn.

So I said
"Well, maybe you'll win next time."

And next time, I need to work on the do not gloat and do an end zone dance every time you do win lesson...

Our Week in Review

I started this post last week but never finished it so it will probably reads like one of those movies that builds you up to a grand finale and then falls flat...

Joshua has had a big past two weeks. Preschool started, this is the end of his second week. He is going 5 days this year and it is taking him a while to get used to it. He seems to like his new school and seems to be doing well....at least he talks about earning jellybeans, which is a good thing, and he tells me about others who get strikes, which is a bad thing. I guess if you get three strikes, you do not get a jellybean. Once your jellybean cup is full, you get to bring them home and eat them...so says Joshua anyway.


Monday, he had his first soccer practice. It was cute seeing him and the other boys "practice" by playing some kicking games. I've been wondering how Joshua will handle not being the winner in soccer...There are a few experienced players on his team and there are a few that seem to be younger than Joshua and one little boy who just sat on his ball the entire time so Joshua is in the middle. The kids voted on the name "Purple Dragons" (their uniforms are purple shirts with black shorts, Joshua is number 11). Joshua was upset because the other choice was "Purple Sea Monsters", which is the name he voted for, but it didn't win. Anyway, we later found out there is already a Dragons team so he is now officially a Purple Sea Monster. Practice Wednesday was cancelled because of rain. His first game is Saturday, but it is at the same time as his best buddy Ben's birthday party. I asked Joshua which he wanted to go to and he chose the party, which I thought he would. I'm still glad I asked.

Tuesday, we went to the Wright's house, along with the Greenes, for some pizza and playtime. I think Joshua had a terrific time being Mollie's Prince Charming.

Wednesday, soccer practice was cancelled because of the rain so we went to the mall for dinner with the Wright girls, the Pope girls and the Parker family. Joshua and Alex really played well together...it isn't often he gets to play with boys...I really enjoy seeing all the friends interact with each other now that they are old enough to actually have conversations and such. And I really enjoyed seeing all the mommies!


Thursday, Joshua started swim lessons through Atlantis Swim School. They teach at the Triangle Aquatic Center, which is a really nice indoor facility. If he learns to dog paddle by the end of his 8 weeks, I'll be super happy. Joshua really loves the water. He is a little disappointed that there are only girls in his class (one of the girls can already swim so I'm not sure why she is there). He was so tired that I thought he was going to fall asleep in the water, but when it was his turn, he did ok. I am looking forward to his next lesson.

By Friday, Joshua was tired and such a monster...crying about every little thing, nothing going right for him. He fell asleep in my lap while we were mowing if that gives you any indication of how tired he was. Sometimes you just have to give in to the nap...

Cute Now, not so Cute Later

Joshua thinks body hair is funny and points at it saying "I see your hair..." I have since been keeping my underarms closely shaved...Scott has often told him that when he gets to be a teenager, he will grow hair under his arms, get pimples on his face and think about girls all the time. Yesterday, Joshua said "When I get to be a teenager and think about girls, I'm going to think about you. Okay?" I just thought that was the sweetest thing, coming from a 4 year old...Scott made me promise not to tell Joshua what he said after he becomes a teenager. Yea, probably not something a 13 year old boy would think was cute.

Life is a Competitive Sport

At least to my 4 year old...I have discovered that to get Joshua to do anything, all I have to do is make a contest out of it.

When we leave home, he has to race me from the house to the car. In the car, he has to buckle up before I can back up the drive. When meeting someone somewhere, he is full of "Are we going to beat so-and-so there?" "Is so-and-so there yet?" "Are we going to get home before so-and-so does?" To get Joshua to eat something, I just have to bet him that he can't and he has to show me that he can. He is always asking if so-and-so can run as fast as he can, if so-and-so is stronger than he is, can so-and-so jump as high as he can, etc.

And life is good until he loses...This week, I watched a video of his friend Caitlin riding her bike without training wheels. I was super excited for her...Joshua watched, cried, ran into his room and got in bed and cried (he has never gotten into bed to cry before) because he couldn't ride without training wheels. He has said he wants to practice more so that he can ride without his training wheels like Caitlin. He did feel better once he learned that none of his other friends can ride without them.

I hope the competitive spirit stays with him, within limits. I would like him to be competitive enough in sports so that he will enjoy playing them. I would like him to be competitive enough in school so that he will be a good student. I would like for him to be competitive enough in life so that he will have a bright, promising future.