What Lessons Do I Want to Teach?

This morning, I was backing up the driveway as usual, I got to the end and Joshua asked
"Did you win?"
It took me a moment to remember that we race in the mornings, he has to buckle up before I back up, but then I said
"Yes! I did win! Finally!"
And then, with the sound of disappointment I heard
"But I wanted to win. That isn't fair!"
I started saying
"You can't always win. If you win all the time, someone else has to lose all the time and how fair is that?"

And then I hesitated and thought about that....Is this the message that I want to teach Joshua? That to be fair, he has to not do his best? Do I want him to lose on purpose just so someone else can win so that the other person can feel good? Do I want him to be dumbed down in school, taught the easy things so that the other person can feel smarter? Do I want him to not be successful in life? To always take the easy road? No, that's not what I want him to learn.

Sure, life isn't fair and you can't always win. You shouldn't expect others to not do their best and let you win. If you didn't win this time, perhaps you'll try harder next time. If you didn't make that good grade, perhaps you'll study more next time. If you didn't get that raise, perhaps you'll increase your productivity. That's the lesson I want him to learn.

So I said
"Well, maybe you'll win next time."

And next time, I need to work on the do not gloat and do an end zone dance every time you do win lesson...